Friday, November 22, 2013

Too bad you can't say "Shut Up" in the South

I’m riding on Amtrak from Fayetteville, NC to Baltimore, MD.  I can’t help but overhear several conversations.  Mile after mile, I’m becoming more and more annoyed by my fellow travelers' imprecise and inane speech. Please join me in finishing this list of…

 Top Ten Words/Phrases to be Exiled from the English Language:

1. like 
   Few people are capable of developing a legitimate analogy.  Sadly, fewer “like” users are even trying to do so.

2. of course 
   Just say what you really mean--“duh!"

3. literally 
   When was the last time you were confused that someone was speaking figuratively and you desperately needed this clarification?

  4. actually 
     Just the fact that there's no "nonactually" suggests how useless this expression has always been.  
  
  5. clearly   
     A former teacher of mine claimed that if you were going to be clear, you didn't need an announcement. 
  
  6. I mean  
     Collect your thoughts and avoid this ubiquitous filler. 
  
  7. I think  
     Ironically, this enervates the impact of your thoughts.
  
  8. too busy 
     It's time to admit that "I'm too busy" means "I'm too damn important" as in "I'm too damn important to respond to your email."    
  
  9. comfortable with my sexuality 
     Or do you mean "clueless about"?
  
  10. So what's your candidate for language exile?


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"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well." - from A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf